Karen, may your faith continue to be found strong, your eyes continue to be focused completely on God and favor to be lavishly poured over your family. There are many of us women who are standing believing for everything to line up perfectly for your family and for your hearts desire for a home come to pass!!!!
Thank you so much Karen. You have such a huge heart for others and a huge heart for your family. You are an amazing women and I am honoured to have you as a friend.
Challenging my view of God.
By Karen Mitchell
I was asked by Nicole to write a guest blog about my recent situation and I procrastinated and even asked her to wait until the fall. I have to admit that I made this request partly because I didn’t feel I had anything of interest to write since I am still “in it” and I secretly hoped that once my situation changed I would then have so much to share. Boy did that open the door for a revelation!
I have 3 little boys and a number of months ago I began feeling like I was loosing control. It was recommended that I read a book called “loving your kids on purpose”. When I started reading the book, I was expecting to get all kinds of new discipline ideas and real insight into why my kids were misbehaving. This was not quite the way it worked out…. The first few chapters opened my eyes to a totally different issue that was going on in my heart and this was also affecting my connection with my boys. The book began challenging my view of God as my father. What was the basis of my relationship? And how did I see God when it came to discipline and correction? I know God loves me and values me and that I am His child but I began to realize that I have often seen Him as the Controller and the Punisher.
Life has not been an easy road and I can remember on numerous occasions, deciding to diligently attend church and do daily devotions with the mindset that this must be “what’s missing”. My perception of the bad things that happened in my past, regardless of my choices, was that I must have deserved it or that God must have needed to teach me something. Every time something bad happened I would trace it back to my failures. When my husband and I lost our business, house and vehicles and we moved in with my parents I blamed myself for not being a good employer and not seeing the signs. I must have forgotten to tithe, I must not have been the best wife, I must have yelled at my kids too much, and…. The list went on and on. Although I was angry and hurt I knew that I had to continue to go to church because otherwise things could get worse. I was always determined to try harder and do better! Last year things were really looking up and we put an offer on a house conditional on financing. Circumstances changed not only were we unable to firm up but there was no option for a house in the near future. I immediately concluded that I had “jumped the gun” and God was teaching me a lesson in patience. Now don’t get me wrong, God does use these negative things to teach us but I have begun to learn that He did not CAUSE them!
God is a God of freedom not control! I want to share a quote from the book that brought me to tears as I began to get revelation of this concept. The Father’s attitude towards our sin is “It’s alright. But I need you to trust me, and I need you to hear Me. We’re going to be OK. We’re going to make it through this. I can win any hand that’s dealt to Me. You’re on my side and I’m on your side. We’ll pick up that which the devil meant for evil and turn it around and because of that I want you to come to Me in the midst of your failure. I’m not mad. I got really mad one time and poured out all My wrath and punishment for sin on the Lamb that I supplied, because He’s the only One that could handle it. (John 2:2). Jesus was punished unto death for all your mistakes, so why would I have anger and punishment for you now? I need you to come close to Me, not be afraid of Me and run away. I need you to trust that I love you and that I am with you and for you. Come here.”
I can’t even describe the emotion that this brought out. As I already stated, I continued to go to church and follow all the “rules” even when rough times came but I always felt like there was still something missing and that I couldn’t break through. I am beginning to recognize that I have always felt tremendous anxiety about whether God is pleased with me.
I know I have only barely scratched the surface of all God has to offer! I have learned that my feelings of anger, hurt, and anxiety need to be directed towards the devil who is the source of the evil!! The battle is ongoing but I know I will better serve God, myself and my family by trusting that His plan and desire is for me and my household to be blessed!!