I really enjoyed this guest post because I dearly relate to Emily. I think it is so important for each of us to go an a journey to find out what God has for us. Then to believe what he has put on our heart will come to pass.
I was young when I got married. I really felt in my heart that God had called me to get married young. I loved being involved in the church and knew that was a desire but my #1 passion at that stage was to get married and have children. I had to trust and believe that what God had put in my heart would come to pass. As you all know... it did, in the right timing, it's not the way I would have thought it would all start, but it has been the most fulfilling journey I could ever have imagined. That period of time, waiting for God to confirm who was going to be my husband was one of the most hours I spent praying and relying on God. I would wake up praying and go to sleep praying. It was a hard season, but vital for me to become the woman that I am still growing into. I am thankful for the journey.
Emily, thank you for sharing your heart! It was refreshing and honest!!! I pray huge blessings for you in the upcoming months and years. May you continue to invest in relationships with couples that you look up to and trust, then listen to their wise counsel. And may the right knight in shining armor come your way in perfect timing, not to late and not to early!! Every part of your journey is for a reason embrace it with all that you have!
A Journey of Trust
by Emily Hawthorne
A wise friend once told me, “You don’t realize God is all you need until He is all you have.” How true is that? I’m only beginning to learn…
I am a planner. I like to know what I’m doing, when I’m doing it, and how I’m going to do it. My mom often teases me because it could be something as simple as going for groceries, but if she tells me we’ll go at 4:00, when 3:59 rolls around and she’s still lost in her novel, I am there putting the bookmark in, taking it out of her hands, and pushing her towards the door. My plans keep my life organized, on track, and predictable. Unfortunately, this doesn’t allow a lot of room for faith and trust in God, because my faith is in my well-laid plans. (It also really isn’t a lot of fun… if I’m being honest, sometimes I envy those who can do things just spur-of-the-moment!)
Well, God has decided to shake my world.
Can I be real with you? I have this deep-down passion and desire to be a wife and a mom. It is what I long for, dream of, and make plans towards. Some people have a passion for teaching, or for sports, or arts. Some people want to be a chef, some want to be an accountant, while some want to travel the world. I want to be a mom. This is something I have received a lot of criticism for from peers, coworkers, and people who just don’t understand because it is not really the “norm”. When you meet people, generally the first question out of their mouth is what do you do and what are you in school for? I have always battled with this sense of failure because my answer is always that I did not go back to school because I simply cannot think of what I am so passionate about that can justify all that time and money. I tried to ignore my passion, I mean, my life is nowhere near heading in the direction of marriage/motherhood right now so I thought, ‘hey, maybe I can find something else I’m passionate about and go to school.’ I have thought about it, I have searched; I have driven myself crazy trying to ignore my passion and find something else so that I could have SOME sort of a plan for my life. But all to no avail. God rooted this passion deep within me and has been watering it and making it flourish. I need to trust Him that He knows what He’s doing.
Sometimes, things happen in life and it would seem as though all of your hopes and dreams are culminating together into the plan you know must SURELY be from God. Really, though, it’s still your own plan; you have taken the wheel into your hands and insist on driving full-speed ahead. I know I, for one, have this constant problem of getting over excited about one little thing that may be happening and blowing it way out of proportion. I make plans and I tell God how it’s going to be instead of letting Him guide me.
So, my journey lately has been one of trust. Trust in my God who knows all my needs, knows me inside and out, and has my ultimate best interests in mind. Trusting Him, instead of trying to plan everything, is a scary process for me, one that has me flat on my back, terrified, a lot of the time. But it is so fulfilling. I was never meant to be in control and so my life will never be successful if I try to be the driver in this thing called life. God has given me these passions, these gifts, and these desires for a reason. I trust Him. I trust that He knows what He is doing, that He has a plan through all of this so I don’t need to have one. I continue to use my gifts in a way to bless others and bring glory to God and one day, the dreams He has placed deep within my heart will be fulfilled.