Thursday, June 28, 2012

"Society constantly feeds us crap." by Kaitlin Kubassek

You all have heard, we live in a different society time and time again. I aggree 100% but, I also know God has put us into the generation we were meant to be in. While living in this era, He has provided us everything we need to handle the challenges that will face us. So as we see a rise of difficulites in this "day and age"  where society embraces all things being permissable. We also see an increasing amount of tools available at our fingertips, plus an openness developing among christian circles of loving hearts willing to discuss controversial topics instead of ignoring and hiding the problems.

When processing who to ask to give a few thoughts on navigating through 2012. Kaitlin Kubassek came to mind right away. Not only have I enjoyed watching her through the years of SLI (Koinonia's after highschool program "Student Leadership Insitute") and twenty20. I have been blessed to have her teach my three oldest girls in the children's ministry. I am so excited to have women like Kaitlin in my little women's lives to look up to through the years.

Thank you so much Kaitlin for taking the time to put this together. Your life is a testimony of a young woman focusing on God and reaping many blessing because of it. Continue setting the example for all of our young ladies!!!

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"Society constantly feeds us crap."
by Kaitlin Kubassek


Nicole asked me to share about being a young woman in 2012 and how I have stayed focused on God while growing up in today’s society. So I've put together a couple thoughts...

 

Sometimes it's hard to stay focused on what's important when society constantly feeds us crap. "How to look like this celebrity!" "How to get a boyfriend!" "How to live it up in your 20's" etc, etc, etc. Sometimes when I read stuff like this, I can begin to question or doubt things..."Wait, I'm 22 already, am I really living it up?!? Hahaha, it sounds ridiculous, but seriously, if you see that garbage as truth you're in big trouble.



For me, it comes down to a few simple things:



1. I'm blessed to have godly parents who have set high standards for me and always asked the tough questions. In high school, I wasn't such a fan of "Be home by 11, please." Seriously?!? I didn't get it at the time, but they were teaching me things. I'm so thankful for their diligent praying over the years. My mom and dad are so faithful. I’m so glad that I can now sit down with them and ask them absolutely anything and they offer me the best advice. And it's free! :)



2. To follow high school, a large part of my maturing as an individual, daughter, sister, and friend came from the time I spent in SLI. This was a time of learning to die to self, although I do realize that this is a life process and constant journey. I was given the opportunity to make my church mine, not just the one I’d always attended or the place my parents picked when I was 4 years old, but really embrace what our pastor has called us to in "Building a House to Belong to." I wasn’t cool with just being a spectator anymore. There were so many other lessons that run deep from that year, but I can't go on and on...just ask me sometime! :)



If I was a parent, SLI is something I would strongly recommend. I feel that for kids coming out of high school, myself included, it's nearly impossible to already know what you're going to do with your life! Why not take a year and invest it into discovering more of what makes you tick? What do you have to lose? Let me help you out: NOTHING! Instead, there's so much to gain. It's a great opportunity to work through the things you've experienced growing up and find out WHY you believe the things you do. For those who may say, "It’s not for everyone..." I would completely disagree. However, it’s not a cure or a fix-all program; you’ll get out of it exactly what you put in.



3. My more recent revelations in this area come from lessons I’ve learned in the area of friendships. Who am I accountable to? Do I have someone in my life who can tell me when I screw up or miss the mark I’ve set for myself? Who I can tell absolutely anything to? Someone who is going to challenge me to be better? I'm thankful to have a friend like this as well as an amazing sister. I must say, I’m super blessed.


If you're thinking, "Man, I wish I had someone like that in my life!" it's never too late to begin to develop new relationships and invest in the people in your world! But be warned, relationships take work! You have to be willing to invest your time and be open and vulnerable, which actually means you could get hurt, but any relationship involves risk. For me, it's been totally worth it.



4. Finally, I’d say a huge part of this journey is in replacing the things that society says about you with what God's Word says. There are the more obvious things like "I have been made in an amazing way" and "I am a child of God" that will destroy messages from our society such as "Look like this!" or "Do these things to get noticed!" But for me it's been about stopping fear before it can take me down a scary path.  I feel like I’ve been on a trust journey for most of my life, and learning to place my life in God's hands day after day. I have to choose to trust because worrying about the future insulates me from doing the things I can do today that will affect my future in a positive way. For example, if I get worrying about my health, I am distracted from the things I can actually do to ensure a long and happy life, like eating healthy and exercising. Or if I get into fear about what my future holds and what my next move should be, my focus drifts from the things I can do to affect the things I want for my life, like reading God's promises, investing in relationships, saving money, etc. These truths come from an awesome teaching I heard recently by James MacDonald. Bottom line: fear and worry have no place in my heart and mind. I can choose to give in to them or I can live free, it’s my choice.

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If you are in your teens or early 20's and you would love some more advice on how to get through different situations in your life feel free to ask. We would love to answer any questions or thoughts you may have!!!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Supernatural Childbirth Part 2 - by Cecile Turner


Here is part 2!!!!!

Cecile Turner is an absolute fireball. She consistantly amazes me with the amount of spunk, energy and heart for people she has. If you ever have a problem, she would be the first to offer to help or give you 15 ways to be able to solve the problem. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know Cecile more as we put together an art class for our kids with another friend Abby and her babes. I remember talking about the life group Cecile was running with Tiffany (who wrote the last post) and the whole topic pulled me in and enticed me with a passion that more women need to know that this is possible.

 For me it wasn't until my last baby (Shaylee born Oct.19th 2010) that I even knew anything about praying for an easy labor and pregnancy... I thought you just got what you got and after the fact you would be thankful that it "was all good" because you had a baby in your arms. I lucked out with the first four. They were painful labors for sure, but I knew that God had my back and so it was something that with my husband by my side I can genuinely say that I enjoyed (insane thought I know) each birthing experience. It was hard, really hard, but such an overwhelmingly empowering experience!!!  

My biggest reason for having Tiffany and Cecile share these stories with you is not to condemn or judge, or to imply that your faith is weak if you experience pain during birth. My heart is for you all to know that it is possible. That God wants us to have an amazing birth experience and there are beautiful stories of women who took purposeful time during their pregnancies to pray and believe for a supernatural experience during birth. I again pray you hear our hearts.

Be blessed my friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Supernatural Childbirth Part 2
By Cecile Turner


So, just to clarify, I'm a wimp. I don't like unexpected pain, like Charlie Horses, paper cuts or sprained ankles. When I found out that we were pregnant, I decided right then
that there had to be a better way to give birth that didn't involve pain. A way that didn't involve the screaming, sweating and desperation that you see on T.V!

I opened my Bible and found out that because I had a relationship with God, I didn't have to experience the typical T.V. birth drama - bonus. I got myself a copy of Supernatural Childbirth, read it, and then acted like God actually meant what He said.

I really watched what I said out of my mouth, dumb stuff we say all the time, like "I'm
gonna be so sick'. I was careful what I let into my ears, by what I was hearing. I had a
lot of people come up to me with their birth horror stories, 42 hours of labour, failed
epidurals, the pain and then newborn problem stories. Things like that we're hard to
hear and not 'hear' and receive into my psyche. I kept going and came to the place
(one month before I was due) where I knew that this baby was going to be born pain
free and healthy.

Four kiddos later, all pain-free, all great nursers, happy and healthy - done.
Lets not be naive either - with each birth comes a story, like how our second born was a 9 week preemie. That was an interesting time, however, the same things we learned during pregnancy and delivery were the same lessons that helped all of us get through
that prolonged hospital stay.



God loves you and His Word (the Bible) works - seriously.

Cecile Turner - happy, slightly tired and erratic homeschool mum of four :)


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Not every one of our stories will have the same ending. But God knows how it will all turn out. So when we pray and believe for God to be with you at each point of your pregnancy and labor, He will also give you the peace and wisdom to know what to do through every step!!!!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

My girls have blessed my life. By Debra Kubassek


I am so honoured to introduce you to another amazing woman!!!

Debbie Kubassek, is a wife, a mother of two solid daughters and a woman that I look up to a lot. She has so many areas where you can see God work through her. The one thing that pops out to me in my season of parenting is her children. Julia and Kaitlin have been on my radar for years. Not only do they have personalities that are purely enjoyable to be around they also have a huge heart for serving God. Their relationship with each other specifically has been encouraging to watch as I have been processing how to raise my girls to become best friends. Debbie and her husband Jamie, are at the top of my list to pull out as much information that I can to build my toolbox to become a great parent of girls! When I asked Debbie if she would be willing to write a guest blog she agreed right away, to my pure excitement. Thank you Debbie for taking the time to put this together. I thoroughly loved reading your post and got so much out of it that I can take and run with!!

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My girls have blessed my life.
by Debbie Kubassek

I have put some of my thoughts together as far as raising my daughters and my relationship with them. I couldn't and maybe wouldn't have done so great without much wisdom (praying daily that I would be effective in my parenting) and the love and support from my husband Jamie. Stay in agreement with the hubby!


We decided before the girls came along that if at all possible I would like to stay at home with them, and this became a reality with the arrival of 9Lbs 5 oz. Kaitlin! Twenty months later along came Julia! and 13 months later we lost out third baby. God did some amazing things in my heart at that time! ( that's another story for another day)
Our children were not good sleepers and both had colic, which kept us awake most evenings until they were 2 and 3 years old. This proved to be a very challenging time, but with much prayer and fantastic parents and friends around us we made it through. I came to realized how much patience it takes to raise children.


The girls were not that hard to discipline in the early years but would challenge me once in a while, I kept them busy; we spent countless hours reading books and playing and I believe that is a necessary and beneficial thing to do with your children. They were always good students in English, Grammar, Public Speaking, and are well spoken today!
We didn't allow them to fight, we told them they were sisters forever and always were to love each other, don't get me wrong they did have disagreements, but always had a hug for each other afterwards. They are very close and good friends today, but also have very different personalities.They work out their differences in love!
Being with the girls at home was fun always teaching them how to do something domestic! I wanted them to be fantastic wives for the man they would marry in the future, start them young, today they have a wonderful work ethic!


As your children grow and get older, life changes and different challenges come, stay calm, stay in their circle, and get them through every situation, with Gods help. Its our responsibility as parents to train, teach and love them throughout their lives. And when they leave home, we are still their parents, they still need our input into their lives, don't think because they are older they don't need us, I have found this to be true even more now than when they were younger. Now they are making big life decisions that will impact possibly everything they will do and who they will become. They need to feel safe bouncing ideas off of their Dad and I.


My prayer and desire for my girls is that they will reach their full potential with Gods help and direction, I pray that they will love God wholeheartedly, seek Him for wisdom, follow His lead and know His plans for their lives, and I leave them in His hands, that is the least I can do, He loves them even more than I do!


I can honestly say as a Mom that my girls have blessed my life beyond anything I could have asked for! They are a constant reminder to me that God is faithful and He gives us the desires of our hearts
I won't allow guilt of not being a good enough Mom to ruin my chances of sowing into their lives, its been a wonderful thing to see my girls grow up to be amazing God-fearing ladies, we have open communication and don't even mind correcting each other at times, this is a cool thing when your daughter puts you in place!


Even when you don't see great results from your parenting, please don't ever give up; I can say this because my Mom never gave up on me even when she didn't like what she saw! She spent a lot pf time on her knees, when I didn't care!
I encourage all you young Moms out there, love unconditionally, say your sorry as often as you mess up! and pray for wisdom everyday! You will not weary while doing good!
God Bless every Mom, life can't be done without you!


Debbie

Monday, June 25, 2012

Supernatural Childbirth!!!!!! by Tiffany Baskaran

I have been sooooooo pumped to post this since I asked two amazing ladies to write me a guest post on childbirth.... seriously... waiting in anticipation!!!!! As many of you know... I am a little obsessive when it comes to the birth of my babies. I ABSOLUTELY ABSOLUTELY LOVED every moment of it!!! I loved the anticipation of it, the excitement of heading to the hospital and the labor and birth of each of the girls!!! Although I have to say they were not all "pain-free."  I did have moments where I lost my focus and it was hard but for the majority of the experience the amount of peace, excitement and joy I had throughout the labor was amazing!!! In a previous post I said that even with my last one... Adam and I were still high fiving each other and laughing and joking around right up to the shocking moment of Shaylee being born (5hrs +, less then the previous babies) REALLY!!! I believe with all of my heart that we as women have been created to give birth naturally, and that when we claim the inheritance of our children, WITHOUT FEAR!!!! We are able to bring them into the world, with little to NO complications!!!

Now as a precursor, I do know that not everyone has had a great experience. My prayer is that you hear our hearts and not a judgement for your story. If you have had a previous hard labor and birth, my prayer is that you are encouraged with a renewed sense of strength that you can believe for a new experience, giving Him your fear and claiming an amazing experience for your next baby! I didn't even know that was something that I could believe for until my 5th.  And for those who are pregnant for the first time!!! YES MY FRIENDS!!!! I am pointing at you!!! Believe for it girls!!!!
So here it is... aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! (Don't know if you can tell that this topic hits a passion button in me!!!) Tiffany Baskaran recently finished a life group at our church teaching about supernatural Childbirth with another friend Cecile Turner (Who will be doing a part two of this topic!!!!) And It perked my interest soooo much that I desperately wanted to get them to write me a blog on it!! And they both jumped at the occasion!! Sooo woohooo!!! READ AND BELIEVE!!!!
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Supernatural Childbirth
By Tiffany Baskaran

"Supernatural childbirth" is simply a healthy mommy delivering a healthy baby. Supernatural childbirth also means having a wonderful, enjoyable pregnancy, a pain-free labor and a quick delivery without any complications. Yes, I said pain-free. You can’t simply snap your fingers or follow a three-step program to achieve this. If you could, then every woman would experience this. Rather, supernatural childbirth is a faith principle that’s founded on the Word of God.

I recommend a book by Jackie Mize entitled Supernatural Childbirth. Jackie shares her testimony and provides Bible scriptures and confession examples to help you from conception to delivery. Reading this book helped me to believe that I could have a quick, pain-free labor and delivery. I confessed the Word over my body and baby. I learned what my body was going through and what a contraction was – a tightening of the uterine muscle that helps push the baby out. If your body is tense and you are full of fear, anxiety or worry, then that counteracts with the contraction and causes what’s known as "labor pain". However, if your body is relaxed and you are full of peace, then you can experience the contraction without the pain.


Let me share my experience. The day before my baby was born, my body started having mild contractions. I felt pressure, but no pain. The next morning when I went to the hospital in active labor, my contractions were about 4 to 5 minutes apart. The pressure grew more intense. I couldn’t walk or talk during the contractions, but they weren’t painful. I could feel when a contraction was coming, then I would breathe through it, and then it would subside. It felt like you were lying down and a child sat on your back. It didn’t hurt, but there was a weighty pressure on you. When it was time for delivery, I still didn’t feel anything painful.

God created the female body to carry and deliver babies. When your body functions in the way it’s supposed to, everything comes easily and naturally. I never felt the "ring of fire" or anything. It was pain-free and I was surprised to find out I had two small tears. My baby girl was born March 13, 2010 at 8 pounds and 5 ounces!

Tiffany and beautiful baby girl!
What’s the first step? You must become a born-again believer by accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior (read Romans 10:9-10 out loud). This qualifies you to all the blessings and benefits found in the Bible. Next you have to build your faith, specifically in the area of supernatural childbirth. How? By finding out what the Word says about pregnancy and motherhood, the blessing of the Lord, being redeemed from the curse, the relationship of fear and pain, the power of your words, what real peace is, etc. God’s will is His Word. Whatever God says in the Bible is what He desires for you to have. A great foundational scripture is Exodus 23:26 which says that you have a covenant right to "no barrenness, no miscarriage and no stillbirth." God does not want you barren!! God would never cause your body to miscarry. God would never take your baby to Heaven because He needs another angel. Satan is the one that comes to steal, kill and destroy. God is the One that comes to bring life more abundantly (John 10:10).

Tiffany Baskaran –
A happily married and joyful mother of one

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Does that ever stir your faith??!!!! If you have any questions or thoughts feel free to comment. And if you are wondering where to start, send me your email address and I would more than LOVE LOVE LOVE to send a list of scriptures for you to believe for and pray over your body or have your husband pray over you while you are in labor!!!!
Here are also two links of where you can also buy the books on amazon, first is the full book, second is the $5 version, of scriptures and promises to stand on!!!


http://www.amazon.ca/Supernatural-Childbirth-Jackie-Mize/dp/0892747560/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340673881&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.ca/Prayers-Promises-Supernatural-Childbirth-Jackie/dp/1577947673/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1340673881&sr=8-2




From my heart to yours!!!

Look Out! She is Going to Blow! by Jayne Ferriss

It's so interesting that when God wants to teach you something, every area around that topic seems to become exaggerated. I think I have raised my voice probably 4 times this weekend at the kids. More than I have in 6 months. So from the recent parenting webinar to this post on anger. I think it's possible that God may be teaching me something in a new area. 

Now I would love to introduce you all to Jayne Ferriss. She is an incredible woman and a mother to 6 lovely children. She has not only raised them on her own but home schooled them too. She was also our local church's children's Pastor for years encouraging many of us to help the younger generation gain a greater understanding of the love of God in their lives. As she heads into a new season, with all of her kids now teenagers and up, I have been in awe with how she navigates life while allowing the Holy Spirit to guide her and lead her to learn more and more about God and herself.

When I asked Jayne to write something for my blog I gave her full reign to write what she believed God put on her heart to share and so she sent this topic to me. It's a bit of a touchy subject so we would MORE than love to hear some feedback and opinions about what you read! Jayne has said she would love to keep an eye out and discuss any thoughts that you have!!!!



Look Out! She is Going to Blow!
By Jayne Ferriss


Okay Girls admit it; it happens to all of us. You know those emotionally charged angry outbursts that stop everyone in the house in their tracks. We have all experienced those days when it feels like someone is about to step on our last nerve, and we are going to blow a gasket. Whether our outburst is the result of stepping barefoot on a piece of Lego after you have asked the kids to pick them up 100 times or from racing out to buy glue at 10 o’clock at night so your teenager can finish their project the night before it’s due. As a mom of six children, who home schooled for 12 years, I can say that I have erupted in angry outbursts too many times to count, but I have learned that experiencing anger is a normal part of life. There are many things that can be the underlying cause of our anger, like hormonal changes in our body, lack of sleep, prolonged stress, relational problems, poor health, lack of support, grief, loss or some deep pain in our soul. No matter what the cause of our anger, there are some things I have come to understand about my anger that has helped me deal with it more appropriately. I hope they help you too!

First of all, God gave us our emotions when He made us, so anger is a God given emotion. We are made in the image of God and have all the same emotions He does. The Bible tells us that God laughs, cries, sorrows, and gets angry. I remember when I first realized this how much it helped me. As a child I was taught it is wrong to be angry, so I would always feel so guilty and ashamed of myself when I lost my temper. This shame would make me try harder to be patient and kind and I would push down my anger or mask it. I did not understand that anger that is not expressed becomes depressed inside of me and saps the energy that I need to move forward. Sometimes we get stuck in an angry phase because we do not deal with the root issue. We need to embrace and acknowledge our feelings of anger not deny them of pretend we are fine. We need to be able to give expression to our anger in an appropriate way.

In time I began to understand that my anger was like a really loud fire alarm ringing out. It was indicating to everyone that there was a problem and it was time to pay attention. When a volunteer fire fighter hears the alarm he doesn`t just spring into action, he has to wait for instructions to learn where he is to go and what he is to do. Anger is like that, it is trying to tell us something. It is telling us we are feeling at risk or violated in some way. Our anger also tells others what we value. For example when I see a news report about a man abusing a little child, I get angry. I might even make a raw suggestion as to what the police should do to him. What does my anger tell you about me? It says clearly that “I LOVE and VALUE children”. It is much the same when your kids take a purple marker to the recently painted dining room walls. Of course you get upset and rightly so, because you value your house, your effort, your time, your energy and your budget.

I use to be afraid that being angry in front of my children would scar them for life. I was raised in an abusive home and I wanted to raise my kids differently. Abuse not anger is what leaves scars; fits of rage and tantrums are what is truly damaging to a child. Anger that is motivated by love, remembers that while wrong behaviour needs to be dealt with, the identity and value of the one committing that wrong behaviour needs to be respected and honoured. That means we don’t use our anger in a way that brings shame, embarrassment, or fear. Our goal is not to have our children obey because they are afraid of us. If this is the case the outcome will be that they eventually stop coming to us for help because they know they are going to be shamed and embarrassed.

In Ephesians 4:26, the Bible tells us to “Be angry but not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” I believe we sin in our anger when we hurt others with our words by accusing, blaming, or shaming, or by expressing our anger forcefully by acting violently toward people or inanimate objects. When we feel anger, we need to slow ourselves down and pay attention to what that anger is really sounding off about. What is the risk or danger to me? Why do I feel so upset about this? What is my anger telling me? What is it that I am valuing that has been violated? As we take time to do this we can then articulate what we are feeling and why and before the sun goes down, we can make things right. When we sit our kids down and explain why we yelled at them and what it is we are upset about, we will be teaching them to value what we value, but more importantly they will learn how to deal with anger.

One closing thought, if you struggle with angry outbursts on a regular basis and screaming tantrums are more normal for you than not, you may need to seek professional help to sort out the anger buried within you. The abuse from my childhood was a bigger issue than I could carry alone and the best and most loving thing I ever did for my family and friends was to get professional help to bring healing to my soul.

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Again feel free to comment or ask questions. We would love to hear from you!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

The seminar!!!!!! Positive Parenting.

So I just got my email from Positive Parenting and they sent a link to be able to see it again!!!!! Can you believe it... so let me know if this works. Tried a few times myself and it did. I don't know how long they will allow this to be available so check it out today if you can!!!!

Awesome!!!

http://positiveparentingsolutions.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=4d6814bd7b9699183cdcfc707&id=c45ff26888&e=38019a2cc7

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

"Get Kids to Listen without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling" - Recap

Last night a handful of ladies and I sat down to watch (my first ever) webinar on parenting. It was sooo good. Lots of great key principles to keep in mind. Some vital reminders and an amazing time sitting and chatting as mom's about specific issues and situations. I got feedback from a couple different people that they would appreciate some notes from the night and figured what a better place then on here. :)

Here we go...

Get Kids to Listen with out Nagging, Reminding or Yelling
presented by Amy McCready

The Vicious Cycle: ask, repeat, remind, repeat, remind... Explode

Why do kids really misbehave?
Adlerian Psychology & Positive Discipline…
A child’s primary goal is to achieve belonging and significance.

Belonging:
• Emotionally connected (parents,siblings, peers, etc.)
• Have sufficient POSITIVE attention
Every child has an attention basket that needs to be filled. We are hard-wired for a driving need for positive attention. Kids WILL continue to get your attention from doing what works for them.

Significance:
• I am capable
• I make a difference
• I contribute in meaningful ways.
Have you're kids help in age appropriate areas around the house. Sweeping, helping make the dinner salad. Making the juice. That allows the children feel capable and like they are contributing to the family.

• I have personal POWER.
There is also a "power basket." Children need to feel like they have some control over their own life. Allow them to have age appropriate power.
The child is really saying:

“I want to belong and feel significant, but I

don’t know how to do it.”
You will find most of your conflicts in power struggles in these areas: Tantrums, back talk, attitude, homework, chores, mealtime, bedtime, potty time. All of these struggles show a key core issue of them not receiving valued moments of  Belonging, Significance and Power.

Consequences ≠ Punishment
Is there a difference between consequences and punishment? You bet! See the differences and learn why consequences are the best way to train kids to make better choices in the future.
A Positive Discipline (viewpoint) definition of “Punishment”
• Blame
• Shame
• Pain
This tactic of parenting punishment is not effective for long term behaviour change. It causes children to withdraw. Encourages lying and creates a defensive mode in them. The final outcome is the child's focus is not on changing the action but on the anger created towards you, now the "BadGuy."
 Punishment encourages LYING
“Where did we ever get the crazy idea that we could make kids DO BETTER by making them FEEL WORSE?”  --Jane Nelsen, Ph.D.
Consequences are effective when:
• The child learns to make a better choice in the future, and…
• The parent isn’t the bad guy
Remember IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!!!!!
5 R’s of Fair & Effective Consequences
5 R’s of Effective Consequences
RESPECTFUL - calm and respectful voice(or they shut down)
RELATED - makes the connection from the problem to the consequence (eg. didn't brush teeth=no sweets)
REASONABLE - (4years 1 day; 14years 1 week)
REVEALED IN ADVANCE - so the child can make a choice "I am sure we wont have an issue with this, but if you choose not to...."
REPEAT BACK TO YOU - the child repeats the consequence if they don't listen back to you as a verbal agreement.
*Adapted from Jane Nelsen, Ph.D. & H. Stephen Glenn
If the child makes a poor choice, don’t “blame, shame or pain” him.  Implement the consequence with dignity…
“I see you chose to lose your video privileges. I have confidence you’ll make a better choice next time.”
Remember no "Piggybacking" – an “I told you so” attitude or remark; adds blame shame and pain and directs the anger back to the parent
"I've noticed(key word when addressing an issue!)that we have been having an issue with..." State concern or problem."In the future I expect that..."
What if…
…I didn’t think to reveal the consequence because I didn’t expect the behavior to happen.  Now what? If it's a new issue, the best is to talk about it then let it go with out a consequence, revealing what will happen if it occurs again, then have them repeat the consequence.
Help!  I can’t think of a good consequence!
Consequences are only 10-15% of correcting behavior!
Keys for Success
Follow these important guidelines for consequences so your children learn to make better choices in the future and YOU don’t end up the bad guy!
·        Focus more on fostering belonging and significance and you’ll need consequences less often.
·        Without the 5 R’s, it feels like punishment to your child.  (And  you’ll end up being the bad guy!)
·        Use your calm voice. Use sticky notes around the house to have visual reminders for you and the kids. (tv. rules and consequences)
·         Don’t repeat or remind.  Say it once. No second chances.
·         Follow through with dignity.
·         Ignore meltdowns, fussing or negotiating.

The vision...
"You can't even remember the last time you raised your voice."

For more information on this webinar and others that you can order,
      Coupon Code:  realfood10
Important – use this link to get free upgrade:
Questions: info@PositiveParentingSolutions.com
If anyone has more tips that they learned from the webinar please feel free to comment and include what were some key points that really popped out to you!!!!

http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/



Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Where does it say that we all need to be perfect?

The real me and babe :)

Is it just me or is it hard not to feel the pressure of being perfect all the time. I wear that pressure quite often. It's difficult not changing who I am, to who I think that people need me to be. I am learning slowly that it really doesn't matter what others think of me but about how I am presenting God's presence in my life. It has nothing to do with how clean my home is, how skinny I am or how well I present myself. But in how genuine my message is!! In light of that here is where I was at not too long ago!

*****

I am a Woman. A full time mom, and homeschooling teacher. I am a cheerleader and wife to an incredibly loving and determined man who manages a growing business owned by some amazing close friends.  I am a daughter and sister to many that hold very dear places in my heart. I am a friend to a few wonderful women who keep me accountable, encourage my very essence and love me to no end. I have a beautiful home, but more importantly an incredible neighbourhood, that is FULL of amazing people. New friendships are blooming and become close not only to Adam and I but also our children.

But in all of that I have grown accustomed to anxiousness and discontentment. PEACE has been far from my heart for a few months. I feel withdrawn and overwhelmed. In my attempt to create changes I have lost my foundations. In attempt to become healthier, I have become anxious and worried about every meal and piece of food that comes through our home. In attempt to become more organized. I have just given into my obsessiveness and become overwhelmed with every piece of dirty clothing, book on the floor or dish in the sink.  In attempt to be a good mom and friend, I have lost my sense of self and have become stressed with the way I believe people should see me. The opinions of others have become so forefront in my mind I have lost my confidence. In an attempt to become a positive example of Christ, I have forgotten the reason why I am a Christian and the reason why Jesus Christ is the core of my life.

*****

Why am I being so raw and honest? For one, life can be so discouraging thinking that everyone has it all together all the time. For two, I think in this day and age we get so caught up in the Facebook of life. We forget who we are to become who we think others need us to be. We spend so much time on our outward we forget about our declining inward. We work so hard at being a good mom and wife (fill in the blank) that we forget that it's not the doing that makes us great but the being. We are so busy "doing" Christianity we forget Christ.


So what is my mandate?

#1 To love God with all of my heart and serve Him with all that I have.
-Making the time to spend precious moments with God. Then taking all that I have learned and are still learning and giving it to God to guide me and help me become faithful with what I have at my fingertips.

#2 To love others with reckless abandon. 
 - Choose to go all out in relationships giving generously with the knowledge that God never leaves me or forsakes me and provides all of my needs.

#3 To Rest
- Life is never too busy to choose time to rest. "Be still and know that I am God" (and if life leaves no time to rest. I need to change my schedule so that I can.)

#4 To be at PEACE
- "Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." (unknown)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBvDiXCVkzw&feature=related

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

God is never far from us.

Today I was reading a post on Bill Johnson's FB page that said. "If God seems to be silent, try talking to Him about something He enjoys talking about." Out of curiosity I scrolled down to see what some of the comments were. I came across one man who wrote.

 "I'm having trouble with my faith. I never hear God. I haven't once my whole life. Is it just me? Everyone always talks to me about how they talk to god, but when I try, nothing happens. Does god hate me? I've received the lord into my heart about 10 years ago. I try to talk to Jesus, I really do, about everything. Sometimes I ask him to help me with things (like when my mum died from cancer). Sometimes I ask him what he wants me to do, and how he can help me grow closer with him, but he never says anything back. I've never heard him. Now my mum is in hell :("

My heart broke. My head was spinning with things to say and comment. I eventually put a link to one of my favorite books for guiding and exampling how to hear God's voice in our life. "Walking with God" by John Eldridge (http://www.amazon.ca/Walking-God-Talk-Him-Really/dp/1400280052/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1339511123&sr=8-1)

But, it was still nagging. There must be a more simple way of explaining God's heart.


My one year old came up to me moments later her clothing covered in water. "O my" I told her and said that we needed to put a new dress on her. So she giggled and ran into her bedroom and hid behind the curtain. She sat there waiting. So I got real close with a big smile on my face and waited. She finally pulled the curtain away and smiled at me and I responded with a laugh and said "I found you." 

It dawned on me!!!

God is never far. He is always right beside us never leaving. It's us that covers ourselves from God. Whether it be change, fear, pain, anger, shame. We veil ourselves from seeing and hearing God. It's when we will pull the curtain away from our face that can we see the smiling face of God and hear him say, "I found you!!"


http://grooveshark.com/s/You+Are+For+Me/40oun3?src=5


God bless you as we all continue on our journey's learning how to hear God's voice in our lives.