I am just getting to know Jannah Kitzman, in little waves when we end up at the same event... but after this blog.. GIRL!!! I would love to sit down and hang sometime!!! What a beautiful journey I see you on.
Thank you Jannah, for being willing to share. I got A LOT out of this post and know that many will be challenged also. Blessings as you head into a new season of baby #2. It's an absolute joy to fill your home with little cooing treasures!!! I look forward to connecting in the future and getting to know you better!!!!
It’s so hard for me to listen to the stereotypical, negative aspects of bearing and birthing a little baby nowadays. I know I don’t have much of an understanding of how it feels to be left over weight, stretched astronomically with the marks, or internally turned into a hallway, because I never experienced the severity of what pregnancy can do. I never screamed or had any pain, and didn’t need a single drug to help me through. I'm not boasting, believe me i still had the pressure and hot sensation they describe, and ripped completely from my v to my a, I just simply had a higher power watching over me and protecting me from the lies of this world, and believed that i could receive the gifts of a supernatural child birth.
I am very blessed to have retained my body and had it left virtually untainted by my son (I still have stretch marks they just popped up on my inner and outer thighs). The remarks about vagina's looking like animals, our bodies looking like a tiger just mauled us, or just the fact that our kiddies make our lives a chaotic marathon, are yes indeed funny in the small witty dose they come in from time to time, but I can’t help but feel as if they’re becoming more unnecessary and draining then relatable and uplifting.
I’m a huge advocate for women of all shapes and sizes, no matter how you got the way you are, to love their bodies to the utmost to ensure their minds don’t get clouded with what this world has deemed beautiful. I get very awkward when a conversation with a women who is shaped differently than me starts complaining about her figure and cursing me for mine. I don’t ever want someone to feel that I take my body for granted by resenting it or wishing I was smaller, or that they should feel any envy towards me because this world says the smaller you are the more beautiful you are. however, I cant comprehend how women can be so destructive towards themselves. Having children is hard, raising them is even harder, and this is a noble act to do. But when I finally have my daughter ( in four years after this 2nd little boy arrives), I don’t want her to get the impression that because somebody may look different on the outside that that depicts who they are on the inside. I also don’t want my sons to grow up thinking they can judge a women’s physique at all based on what I or anyone else describe as a negative part of their body. How will any of them know what true beauty is If I verbally teach them that unless I am a perfectly sculpted woman that I am not worthy of attaining beauty.
I started thinking more to myself that the more a negative thought came to me, joking or not, It was going to some how dig itself deep in my brain only to pop up in a weak moment and crush me from the inside out. I refused to let that be the case. I understand people can get to a point in there lives where it only seems like the right thing to do think or say is negative, but I also know we are our own worst enemies, and we need to encourage each other always. My mother always used to tell me garbage in garbage out. This world wants to choose who is worthy to be apart of the “normal” picture and shun all those who just don’t measure up. They bash us for how much we make, how we dress, our weight, complexion, thought process and so much more. They’re sorting through us like the farmer does with the eggs to find the perfectly laid ones and throw out the ones that are cracked, and the sad thing is we allow them to do this. This world does the same with child bearing and birth, and postpartum life. As we listen to the worlds opinion on how our lives must go, the negativity settles in and we move further from the truth.
It seems so contradictory that we criticize ourselves and each other so easily, yet are also so quick to defend ourselves from this completely unachievable perfection the world has thrown down over our society. At what point do we say enough completely to this negative thought process and begin to love ourselves fully for what we are worth.
God says we are perfectly made, and many people don’t believe in god but you can believe that you were put here somehow for a specific purpose and are perfect just the way you are no matter what happens to you externally or internally in your lifetime.
Women who have children and look as if they never have are criticized and women who gain a lot of weight or are left with a little extra are ridiculed. You’re a good mom if you look perfect after child birth, and a disgrace if you don’t! How completely evil of us to think or even condone this idea. It is a privilege to have a baby, because there are a lot I couples who will never be able to bear and deliver a child. It is also a selfless act because when we have babies we are choosing to end our task to care only for ourselves and taking on a complete role of servitude for another life. That is beautiful and no one should chastise themselves or be chastised for this, if they look a certain way after having a child or two or 8.
We need a movement, a revival of the brain and the way it has been poisoned by negativity. I encourage everyone to drop anything negative and focus on only the positive of this life we are living. Things are never going to go the way we plan, there are a shocking number of setbacks that will be waiting to strike us down at our best. But if we don’t fight for each other and the beauty in each and everyone of us no matter how we look, or our life style after babies, then we literally are letting this world rule our thought process.You may look in the mirror and hate yourself, see the things you want to change or envy another woman who you think is more desirable than you, but while your staring at yourself you are still yearning to love yourself for where you are in life. Seize that moment hold on to that perfect flawless moment of when you desire to love yourself, and simply begin. Lets face it we are stuck with ourselves no matter what we look like or how we feel, don’t completely rebuke the one person who can also be your cure for this infectious thought pattern! God also loves you and knows you’re perfect he’s just waiting for you to remember, or begin reading the truth in his words.
How wonderful to know that even if we don’t believe in him and refuse to think he could possibly be real, he will always be there loving you no matter your decisions you make or how you perceive yourself.
Lets break this stereotype and negativity, and join hands in fighting for the beauty of our individuality and character rather then condemning ourselves and each other from the outside in over things completely out of our hands.